It's after midnight right now and I'm settling in for what I'm hoping is sleep soon, but not before I take in my daily dose of pinterest cowgirl hat boards.
My birthday is coming up (Nov 20th) and I'm still looking for that kick-ass hat to wear around the house cause I really don't go anywhere.
But I was thinking about us Ugly Girls as always, and tonight in particular after having an exchange with a viewer in the comment section of one of my videos.
I've been getting an overflow of curious viewers after someone made a video about me claiming that I'm not ugly, and I guess implying that I'm being deceptive about my motives for starting this Ugly Girls coalition.
And so the "I don't think ur this and "I don't see what you see is pouring in.
Disingenuous of course.
And let me tell you, it's a burden when you are aware that people are lying to you and want brownie points for supposedly offering you reassurances you didn't ask for.
So when I talk to you ladies about being aware of people, believe me, I understand why you prefer to pretend or ignore the energy people bring your way.
When you 'Know' and can see the motives behind people words, you can easily become jaded and lose motivation to connect with people.
That's the price you pay when you are seeking a revelation or for things to be revealed to you.
Now I have to prove that I qualify to spearhead a movement that nobody else would touch with a ten foot pole?
Now the critics are saying I'm attractive so I don't belong at the helm of something that no other woman who looks like me wanted to be responsible for??
But it's yet again an opportunity to show you ladies examples of how the judgement never ends.
It. Never. Ends.
How are people bothered by me or any of us calling ourselves Ugly Girls?
Are they annoyed or embarrassed?
Are they upset or anxious?
Why do they care about what we call ourselves when they never seem to be around when you need something other unsolicited advice and pretentious emotional support?
All this agressive "This is so toxic" banter turns to dust when we flip the focus and talk about the considering the value in unattractive men.
Then all of these sympathetic bystanders" say that they'd be degrading themselves or that they could never live in *misery* with someone who they did not enjoy looking at.
All humans do is lie.
All women do is pretend and lie, even when there's nothing to gain..
So again, I say divest from beauty and I don't mean that you neglect your appearance.
That has never been what the Ugly Girls Club is about.
We divest from beauty so that people will no longer be able to dictate what we are worth or worthy of because of how they rate us.
We divest from beauty so that their opinions about how we look becomes a mute point.
We divest from beauty so that we are no longer compelled to chase approval from people who either do not want to give it or give it thinking they are offering something we can't live without.
Do let anyone reduce your life into a soundbite!
Don't allow people to come along and tell you what you are after a 30 minute conversation when you've lived 30 years before they even knew you existed.
OK the sandman is calling my sleep now..
Will be sharing more often here.. Sleep well and leave a comment if you like..