I've been in the online social media space since 2007. I started my channel with a mission to encourage misrepresented women with a voice of encouragement and purpose.
I was unsure of the direct it would take me. I had no business plan, just a burning desire to help women.
I was still of the belief that looking better would solve self esteem back then because that's all I had to reference self worth and self esteem with...
But as I started creating content and getting feedback from my viewers, I realized that the cure for low self esteem wasn't in looking attractive and I now had to put my big girl panties on so that I could start stating a very unpopular opinion about attractiveness and self worth.
Many women are extremely critical of other women. And I was once extremely neurotic and sensitive about people criticizing me because I'd heard evasive comments my entire life.
The revelation that hit me on the head was that criticism is predominantly a smokescreen for a person's personal anguish. Criticism is used as a buffer for one's own fear of inadequacy.
Criticism is not about YOU, it's always a WE thing and a relationship between what a person thinks about themselves and you.
Pretty isn't a cure; self determinism is the cure.
Pretty is interpretative.
Your rank on the pretty scale is determined by who's standing next to you.
You attractiveness is always measured against that of another woman to make a determination if you actually are.
Pretty isn't isolated and qualified on its own merit.
You need an agreement with your audience to make a claim of being attractive, and the audience/society is temperamental at best.
Ugly women have to think strategically. We need to evaluate the who, what, when, why and how of everything and everyone at all times.
And it sounds like work if you've given up on life and your goals. It will feel overwhelming if you are a failure with limited intelligence or a hefty amount of shame riding your back.
You have to conquer your shame though. Shame us the quicksand sinking you into a itching sinkhole of desperation and pain.
Shame too is an emotion where you are anticipating a specific reaction/response because of who you are or what you've done.
You feel shame because of other people just like you only feel beautiful because of other people.
It's quite rare to meet a woman who's brave enough to stand on her own square regardless of getting approval..
She wants to be accepted. Her entire life is about conjuring up acceptance and admiration from people who are just pretending to care about her.
So you have the opportunity to become the Maverick that you were born to be. You can show other women what it's like to live on the other side of attractiveness and still thrive and be prosperous in spite of the social status they've given you.
"The Ugly Girls Ambassador"
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